dimwhit tells the future…

From time to time, I enjoy dusting off my crystal ball and sharing a few bold predictions with my readers. And though I’m not a professional clairvoyant, I’d like to hope that my occasional dip in the tea-leaves is accurate more than 10% of the time.

And let me tell you folks – I’m feeling pretty confident about my first foray as an oracle. So basically, mark this shit down. It’s gonna happen.

Light a candle and open your minds. My first dimwhit prediction is:

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2014 marks the first year of Bobwa Favwa.

Go long, Whoopi!

What’s exactly is that, you ask? Simple. Barbara Walters, affectionately dubbed in some circles as Bobwa Wawa, will morph into the network television rendition of professional football’s legendary Brett Favre.

I understand, girl.

I mean, it’s already begun. For years people have speculated her retirement, and for years she’s shrugged such speculation telling us with reverence that she’d bow out when she was ready, and she just yet wasn’t. Until that day, I think it was about 2.75 years ago (at least that’s what it feels like), when she finally announced the time had come. The nation heaved an audible collective gasp and I think we all know where we were that day. Say it isn’t so Barbara!

But then, she comforted us by promising to do what any legend should – she was going to milk that damn retirement for all its worth. That’s right, Barbara is far too iconic for a two week notice. Instead, the female broadcasting pioneer turned legend was breaking it to us gently with a 12 month heads-up, giving all of us ample opportunity to kiss her ass pay tribute to her accomplishments and show our affection. And to further sooth us, she keeps threatening reassuring us that she’s not leaving entirely. As she insinuates, she’ll pop in from time to time to say hello and steal cover the interviews and stories that compel her. Thank heavens!

So, there you have it, friends. While we all know Babs should probably enjoy her long, long, long, long, long deserved retirement and perhaps take a little time to enjoy the view,  2014 is the year of this:

You know I’m right on this one…