A bright, shiny day for the dimwhit – weekly recap included!

I just completed my first full week as a blogger, y’all!

[insert shameless strutting and booty shaking here]

Needless to say, I feel pretty damn accomplished. Rightfully so, right? As a result, I decided this morning to schedule myself a regularly occurring pat on the back – hence the creation of a new segment I like to call: Dimwhit’s Friday Fold-up. This is where I’ll get the opportunity to cast a short and sweet spotlight on things I deem noteworthy from the prior week, including links to some seriously awesome shit you may have missed (hey, I care about you) with some new stuff mixed in there for good measure.

It’s like two posts for the price of one! The blog equivalent of BOGO deal!

Now that I have you on the edge of your computer chair, I’ll begin this week by sharing something you don’t already know. I live right across the river from Cincinnati, in an almost too charming town in Northern Kentucky. Today, the sky is bright blue and completely devoid of even a single cloud, the sun is shining, birds are chirping and the temps are due to reach 80 degrees. And the ENTIRE weekend is supposed to be like this! Post title makes sense now, huh? Since a picture is worth a thousand words, below is a photographic representation of how I plan to capitalize on this gift from the gods.

Mr. & Mrs.

Nice way to wrap up a week, wouldn’t you agree?

For the “in-case-you-missed-it-and-shame-on-you-if-you-did-but-dimwhit-still-loves-you-and-therefore-has-your-back-on-this-one” portion of the post, this week:

  • I totally explained what this means and how it will likely impact us all in 2014…

Click Bab’s face to get enlightened.

  • I also kinda burned this guy, even though I believe him to be a pretty damn good actor. Sorry man.

Click Jere’s left eyebrow to get the full story.

  • And in the comments section of this post, my tribute to Donald Sterling led to a conversation about fake baby penises.

And tune in next week when I finally get around to properly introducing this irresistible love nugget – dimdog.

I hope your weekend is as bright and shiny as mine, friends. Until next time…

 

dimwhit tells the future…

From time to time, I enjoy dusting off my crystal ball and sharing a few bold predictions with my readers. And though I’m not a professional clairvoyant, I’d like to hope that my occasional dip in the tea-leaves is accurate more than 10% of the time.

And let me tell you folks – I’m feeling pretty confident about my first foray as an oracle. So basically, mark this shit down. It’s gonna happen.

Light a candle and open your minds. My first dimwhit prediction is:

____________[insert drumroll]______________

2014 marks the first year of Bobwa Favwa.

Go long, Whoopi!

What’s exactly is that, you ask? Simple. Barbara Walters, affectionately dubbed in some circles as Bobwa Wawa, will morph into the network television rendition of professional football’s legendary Brett Favre.

I understand, girl.

I mean, it’s already begun. For years people have speculated her retirement, and for years she’s shrugged such speculation telling us with reverence that she’d bow out when she was ready, and she just yet wasn’t. Until that day, I think it was about 2.75 years ago (at least that’s what it feels like), when she finally announced the time had come. The nation heaved an audible collective gasp and I think we all know where we were that day. Say it isn’t so Barbara!

But then, she comforted us by promising to do what any legend should – she was going to milk that damn retirement for all its worth. That’s right, Barbara is far too iconic for a two week notice. Instead, the female broadcasting pioneer turned legend was breaking it to us gently with a 12 month heads-up, giving all of us ample opportunity to kiss her ass pay tribute to her accomplishments and show our affection. And to further sooth us, she keeps threatening reassuring us that she’s not leaving entirely. As she insinuates, she’ll pop in from time to time to say hello and steal cover the interviews and stories that compel her. Thank heavens!

So, there you have it, friends. While we all know Babs should probably enjoy her long, long, long, long, long deserved retirement and perhaps take a little time to enjoy the view,  2014 is the year of this:

You know I’m right on this one…